Minithon tops 11k

The FC United Medequip Minithon has been run and has currently raised £11,075 for the charity and the club via www.justgiving.com donations.

But behind this great achievement of FC supporters and friends are stories galore"¦

The ultimate twist in the Minithon Battle of the Titans, Mother of all Contests, was that neither Andy Walsh nor Scott Fletcher who had attracted the big money, were able to stretch their legs sufficiently to win a place in the foot race around Chorlton Park.

Instead, in the footrace In which records were established, the fastest male who ran around the course in 19 minutes of pure Michael Johnson strides was Christopher Small. He was followed in by the fastest veteran in the field, Duncan Drasdo, and the fastest FC player, Simon Garner.

Leanne Carey also write herself into the record books as she took 30 minutes to become the fastest female in the history of FC United Minithons, whilst Patrick Walsh, the fastest junior went round in a Billy-Whizz 20 minutes.

Young Walsh’s pop, Andy and Fletcher however insist that the only race that mattered was their brutal battle to amass the highest sponsorship.

In a breathtaking final flourish to their blow by blow see-saw struggle, Andy Walsh proclaimed himself winner as the first to £1000, whilst the Fletch announced himself as Top Dog, posting a huge £1,940 of sponsorship on his web page.

The race marshals were due to hold an enquiry into this dispute, however the investigation has been postponed owing to some of the marshals were unable to find their way off the course.

Third home was David French, and fourth the gallant not so soft southerner, Jonathan Kendal, leaving the gallant John Mannering just out of the places and completely fagged out.

Back on the foot race, the crowd favourite, crazy dog Boru Cobama, lapped up the course and the Mersey, dragging Daniel Selvidge around to pick up the prize of first dog (with owner) home.

The Best Headgear title was seized by Jules Spencer wearing his three year old son around his neck. Social workers and his psychotherapist are considering looking into his matter.. Concern was also expressed as to the origins of Best Dressed winner, John England’s pleated girl’s grey tunic and why he was wearing one of Lily Savage’s missing Chorlton-style shocking pink wigs.

Players’ Race - While the big money went on Rob Nugent, Simon Garner romped home as fastest player and third overall

The event was very kindly sponsored by sportswear company, A-Line www.a-line.it

10 prizes

A-Line provided vouchers for 7 full sets of soccer kit (including boots) Preparing a pizza meal for four at Heathcotes’s Olive Press restaurant in Manchester came from Heathcotes, the leather wallet and handbag were donated by Lichfield Leather, a Dog Bed was kindly given by Restore Products.

The club would like to thank Mike Sherrard whose excellent arrangements for the race ensured that he is saddled with the job for years to come, George for a great afternoon in the Irish Club, Matt Walker and Des Sharples for doing the celeb bits and MaD Theatre for a highly polished sketch that is certain to grace not a few stages over the coming months.

Special mention should go to Mike Burtonwood’s wife who pulled her husband out of the proverbial by making the sandwiches after he had forgotten to arrange. And finally, all the entrants and marshals for being so cheerful and co-operative.