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CYCM. Season's greetings...

Season’s greetings and all that. FC United of Manchester are playing Glen Matlock this Saturday. It would be nice to think that Murrjy had assembled a team that could beat the bass player from the Sex Pistols but nothing is a certain in football.

Course You Can Malcolm will have its now customary cavalcade of gormlessness on show with doors opening at 12 o’clock for the full season. As in last season we will only be operating on a Saturday and bank holidays as mid-week games are the only chance the volunteers get to see all of a home game. It’s nice to pamper them.

Amongst this weekends proceedings Murrjy will be doing a Questions and Answers slot. So if you want to ask ’The Murrj’ any questions on the early almanacs of Piethagorus, his conversations with Eric or even about the new players he’s acquired over the summer or what he feels about the coming season, feel free to prepare the inquisition.

Many of last season’s successful ideas of ’Tea earn’ - of a proper brew in a FC United of Manchester mug for a pound and ’Carrot corner’ - our guest vegetarian dishes made as a gift by our veggie Reds for two pound - will continue. This Saturday Mike Duff is doing a chick pea risotto with a crisp rocket salad. Almost certainly.

They’re joined by the ’cupyours’ cup cakes. The cup cakes with primary-school-rude icing messages on them. Last season’s winner was ’There’s biz in this cake’. This Saturday there is a selection, one of which is ’May contain shellac.’ Come to Malcolmses and show those impolitecup cakes some manners. The two pound tater hash and pie crust will be there along with the ’tater hash tenner’ gambling game. Although we’re thinking of renaming it ’The Andy Hughson’ as no living person has ever been as jammy.

The quality beers that you revelled in last season will again be on show. We found one of our beers that we sell at ’two-for-a-fiver’ retailing for £4.10 at one pub. As a nice aside every game we play we will be having 11 bottled beers from a real ale brewer closest to the team we’re playing. That’s eleven bottles not eleven varieties. Against Glen on Saturday it is ’Bakewell’s Best Bitter’ from Peake Ales. It’s £2.50 for a 500 ml bottle which is cost price. We’re saving the twelfth bottle of beer from each team we play so that near the end of the season we will have a raffle’able hamper that you can re-live the season by.

On a very, very important note: Will all fans please remember to drink with decorum, be polite to the volunteers who are working so that you can socialise and self-police to the best standards that FC United of Manchester can produce. There really were some ignorant, misguided fools who took bottles out onto the terraces despite repeated polite requests not to. We do specialised quality ales that can be traced back to us. If your eyes have been bigger than your belly and you can’t finish your beer before the game then leave it on the window ledge by the upstairs door. We don’t clear that area til after half time.

And that’s it. Sorry about going on but, as always, there’s so much going on. Doors open 12 o’clock. Usual rules and conditions apply - FC United of Manchester members only but you can sign one guest in. There’s membership forms on the door but it’s Oche Youth signing you up and he’s a new boy, so be gracious when he’s being a bit slow. Get there early because as well as Oche Youth just getting used to his new opposable dart thumbs there’s also the fact that everyone of the Course You Can Malcolms of last season was a lockout. With every penny raised going to this club that we created. Come and sit down with mates you’ve not seen since last season and prepare for battle. Oh, oh, oh the 1878’ishness of it all.

Fraternally yours,

The odd carriers

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First Posted ~ 11:09 Wed 13 Aug 2008
News ID ~ 1756
Last Updated ~ 12:34 Mon 21 May 2018